When my colleagues asked me how I imagined a romantic dinner with a woman, I had to think first. They wanted to know tips and tricks. But what does romantic mean and what is romantic for a man?
Let’s be honest, who knows what romance is? Many people associate romance with a beautiful atmosphere, special moments, exclusive surroundings, elegance, candlelight and other accessories. Mainstream is all about outward appearances. The TV shows show the way. But: There are only a few romantic moments, the rest is surrounded by embarrassing moments. But romantic is something different in my eyes.
I also don’t want to mention the typical old-school cool and casual alternative of the date at the diner now. Even though I like it better than the typical romantic dinner, which often ends with a steak for me and a salad platter for my date- accompanied by an embarrassing silence.
Romance is all about the unexpected. Not knowing how it ends, what happens. When it is just the moment that counts. When I can’t just swip to the right like on Tinder. Selection according to catalogue etc.. When it comes to romance, you have to get involved with the unknown.
Many forget that romance requires two. This is not a selfie topic. When you only feel yourself and only your feelings matter. Romantic is the moment when I notice and feel that my counterpart is feeling and experiencing the very same in this moment. Even has the same thoughts. You get closer not just because you like each other, but because everything fits that day, hour and minute. When even the worst weather can bring sunshine into our hearts. When we feel overconfident and happy. When we spontaneously laugh together and act like kids again. When we are happy that the other one is there and not someone else. No more swiping.
It is the moment when our sudden shyness and the last centimeters of insecurity part before the decisive romantic kiss.
In many cases, however, it doesn’t even get that far because the last step gives way to one’s own shyness. To do the first step and to invite to a dinner is not always that easy for us men.
Uncertainty and the fear of a “Sorry, no” discourages us in advance. And even if we gather all our courage, it can still happen that in the “right moment” we are too afraid to ask.
We men have never been born flirt experts. Furthermore, the bad experiences that women have had with some men make it difficult for us to take an unbiased first step towards the woman of our dreams. Yes, there is uncertainty on both sides. But you women can also help us out!
If woman wants and is confident, she can set helpful impulses here or even take the initiative.
Sometimes a smile and the question “Don’t you want to invite me to dinner?” or “Do you want to go out for dinner together?” help. A lot of ice is broken and man knows straightaway: “She’s also interested. Now is the time to make a move”.
For us men it is also difficult to estimate what a woman likes. Therefore: Just talk about it. Make suggestions. If you´d like to go on a stroll through town, go to the cinema, drink cocktails and so on, you let us know. It’s best not to just plan on it alone, because we both want to have fun. ;) Even just talking about it and planning together is the first step to a successful romantic dinner or even romantic evening.
Not the goal, the romantic evening itself, but the way there is romance.
And very important. Spontaneity is the key to success!
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